One of the most common things parents are told is this: “We can’t really do anything until there’s an EHCP.”
It is often said kindly. Sometimes confidently. Occasionally as though it is simply a fact. But the truth is, it is not accurate.
Long before an Education, Health and Care Plan is even discussed, schools already have clear duties to support children with additional needs. The problem is that many parents are never fully told what SEN Support should actually look like, or how to recognise when it is not happening properly.
As a SEND specialist, and just as importantly a parent, this gap between what the system says should happen and what families experience in reality is one of the biggest issues I see.
What SEN Support Is Really Meant to Be
SEN Support is the stage of provision that comes before an EHCP. It exists for children who need additional help but do not yet have a formal plan. It is not informal. It is not optional. It is not the same as “we’ll keep an eye on things”.
SEN Support should follow what is known as the graduated approach. This means schools should be actively working through four stages: Assess, Plan, Do, Review. This process is not meant to be a tick box exercise. It is designed to be responsive, personalised, and led by the child’s actual needs.
Assess: Understanding What Your Child Needs
Assessment at SEN Support stage is about much more than test scores or levels. A proper assessment should include teacher observations, parental input, and where appropriate, the child’s own voice. It should look at progress, emotional wellbeing, regulation, communication, and sensory needs, not just academic attainment.
Many parents are told, “We know them well enough.” But when concerns are not recorded, measured, or reviewed, support becomes guesswork. If nothing is written down, it is very hard to show that needs have truly been assessed.
This is often where parents first start to feel uneasy, even if they cannot quite put their finger on why.
Plan: Turning Needs Into Real Support
Planning should lead to clarity, not confusion. A good SEN Support plan should be specific. It should clearly state what support will be put in place, who will deliver it, how often it will happen, and what outcome the school is aiming for. Phrases such as “extra support when needed” or “differentiation in class” sound reassuring, but they are not plans. They are placeholders. If support is not written down clearly, it cannot be reviewed properly and it cannot be challenged if it does not happen.
Do: Making Sure Support Actually Happens
This is where many systems quietly fall apart. Support exists on paper, but not always in practice. Staff change, timetables shift, and responsibilities become unclear. Parents notice when agreed support does not seem to be happening, but many feel uncomfortable questioning it. If support has been agreed, it must be delivered. SEN Support is not a suggestion. It is a duty.
Review: Checking Whether It Is Working
Review is not a formality or a once a year conversation. It should involve checking progress, listening to the child, listening to parents, and adjusting support when it is not effective. I often hear parents say, “We haven’t had a review in months,” or even, “I didn’t realise there was a plan.” If SEN Support is not being reviewed, it is not functioning as it should.
Reasonable Adjustments Are a Legal Duty
Alongside SEN Support, schools also have a duty to make reasonable adjustments. These do not require an EHCP. Adjustments might include flexibility around routines, adapted tasks, sensory supports, emotional regulation strategies, or alternative ways for a child to show their learning. These are not rewards. They are not special treatment. They are rights.
Coping Is Not the Same as Thriving
One of the hardest phrases parents hear is, “They’re coping.” Coping often looks calm on the outside. It can look like compliance, quietness, masking, or trying very hard not to stand out. Inside, it can mean exhaustion, anxiety, and emotional overload. By the time coping breaks down, a child may already be deeply struggling. Support should not wait for crisis.
When SEN Support Is No Longer Enough
Sometimes, even when SEN Support is done well, it is not enough. That is when an EHCP may be appropriate. But an EHCP should not replace SEN Support. It should build on it. When SEN Support has not been properly tried, documented, and reviewed, families often face longer battles later. Strong early support protects children and strengthens future applications if they are needed.
A Note to Parents Reading This
If you are reading this and realising that there is no clear plan, that nothing has been reviewed, or that support feels vague or inconsistent, please know this. You are not being difficult for asking questions. You are doing exactly what the system expects parents to do, even if it does not always welcome it.
How The SENDNest Can Support You
At The SENDNest, we support parents at this exact stage, before things escalate. We help parents understand what SEN Support should look like, prepare for SEN meetings, identify gaps in provision, organise concerns clearly, and advocate early with confidence. You do not have to wait for an EHCP conversation to begin asking for better support.
If this feels familiar, you may find it helpful to explore our SEN advocacy guidance, early support services, and practical tools over at www.thesendnest.co.uk. You can also follow us on social media for regular updates, guidance, and reassurance that you are not alone in this.
Trust your instincts.
Ask the questions.
Support now matters.
With love,
Ally x
